Things That Occur to Me #49

1. I would literally pay real money to Facebook for no ads, no suggestions, and a pure, chronological feed of only my friends posts.

2. I have found that life goes a lot better with the generous use of paper towels.

3. Opposing the way the government tries to help people isn't even remotely the same thing as not wanting to help people.

4. I'll go ahead and say it: paper straws mark the  beginning of the end of western civilization

5. Pro Tip for all you youngsters: big, expensive weddings are way, way, way overrated